My ex had a history of emotional instability, something I would later learn is likely Borderline Personality Disorder. She was convinced that she was a "high priestess in a former life." One day last year, she came home and out of the blue said she "needed space." A few months later I learned from my children she was having an affair with the contractor working on our house. Borderlines can't accept anything that reflects negatively on themselves so she had to make me the bad guy. She trotted out the divorce 'big gun' - allegations of domestic violence. The first 19 months of litigation and $350,000+ in attorney's and "expert" fees resulted in joint custody, joint decision making and what I thought was a guarantee (in writing in the order of child support) that my children would NEVER be relocated outside of the school district and a guarantee that she would get treatment for her disorders (I settled for slightly less than 50% residential time to secure these 'guarantee.').
That didn't satisfy my Ex. She made repeated claims of DV that, of course, had no basis in fact. Then, and also out of the blue, she wanted to remarry me and suggested, more like demanded that my company employ her. When I declined, she sought revenge. Five more years of litigation and another $300,000 in legal and "expert" fees my children are now living full time with my ex 1,100 miles away. I could no longer afford an attorney and had to represent myself.
If you are a father of means, then you can fight the uphill battle of family law, otherwise, good luck. I can Skype with my children two times each week under her supervision. They are not allowed to come to see me or any of my family. If I want to see them I have to give her 2-week notice, pay for all of my transportation and living costs, pay (@$50.00+/hr.) for a "visitation supervisor," and my Ex has sole authority to approve or not approve of the supervisor. She always chooses "not" to ensure that I can't see my kids.
The critical piece of "evidence" that she uses repeatedly against me is a report by a DV evaluator (referred to here as "DB") who has made a handsome living for over 32 years in Washington conducing DV "evaluations.". It turns out that in those 32, he has evaluated hundreds of men (never women) and virtually 100% of time his report calls for DV treatment for the father. The father's time with his children is contingent on compliance with DV treatment, which he just happens to provide. The state Department of Social and Health Services, after years of complaints, finally stripped him of this license and banned him from ever again conducing DV evaluations or testifying as an a DV expert in court, but he is just one of many corrupt players in the lucrative family law industry. His money-driven bias and blatant disregard for the rule of law is no different than many of the family law commissioners, GALs, evaluators, attorneys and other "professionals" colluding to make their living off the backs of good, loving, hard-working fathers and their children. They prosper and our children suffer. Far, far too many facts and details to go into here, but forget what you know about the US judicial system.
Family law makes a complete mockery of our judiciary and summarily disposes of the due-process rights of fathers and children.
FORGET DUE PROCESS. BUT THEY'LL 'PROCESS' YOU ALRIGHT.
Bob's Story...
