PersonalStories15

Do Father's get fair treatment in court? Is bringing truth to court enough? Should the innocent party have to pay attorney fees? The answer to all of these is no. My last eight years in court proves it. My attorneys have done a good job, but for some reason, it hasn't been enough, so we keep moving forward. I can't stop now because my son is my heartbeat.

I started this journey in 2004, little did I know it would take, at this point already 8 years. I have spent more than eight years in court for the best interest of my son, and it is far from being over. I started with just visitation with my son, then I had to face CPO's because of fabricated scenarios that were filed in the court. It got to the point at one time that for a month I was forced to endure supervised visitation. I went through many months without seeing my son, one time 5 months, another 4 months and many weeks at a time without seeing him. I lived through many scenarios invented by my ex-wife, including her fabricating diseases my son never had, the most serious, Epilepsy, to collect money from SSA. My son was listed as disabled for three years until I corrected the record. Most Fathers would have given up since the court seems to tilt toward mothers. I couldn't do that, my son is more precious than anything on this earth.

If the truth is not seen, bring it to light. As I presented the evidence and proof of truth to the court, my son's mother agreed to my being residential parent in a shared parenting arrangement. In January of 2009, now deemed a residential parent, I learned several disturbing facts. One, my son was denied immunizations since birth; I had to get him started on vaccines for his first year in school. He was too old for some immunizations. After three years, he is now caught up on his immunizations. Two, he had never been taken to the dentist for the health of his teeth. He had to have two teeth pulled immediately since the cavities were so close to the nerve. He is now cavity free. Three, his eyesight was so bad, it was +4.50 and +3.00. After three years and three pairs of glasses, his eyesight has corrected tremendously. He is +1.75 and +.75 and with his glasses, he now has 20/20 vision. Four, my son was listed as disabled with SSA, since my wife falsely claimed that he had Epilepsy. My son has never had a seizure in his life. The moment I stepped out of court in January 2009, I walked over to the SSA office and corrected my son's status. Not one doctor or medical personnel has seen a seizure by my son. All tests (EEGs and MRIs) have come back normal. In fact, both Neurologists documented my son was seizure free. I approached SSA with this a year and a half before I became residential parent, but they blew me off saying they couldn't disclose any information since my name wasn't on the paystub. My ex-wife received $524.00 a month for more than three years by fabricating my son was having seizures.

I had the truth and I had the best interest of my son in mind, but that still wasn't enough. In August of 2009, after numerous disruptions and embarrassments, I filed for full custody. I won custody in August of 2010, then later, his mother filed 57 objections in a five-page decision. I won the objection hearing, but then she filed in the court of appeals. Because of a small technicality of "change of circumstances," the matter was remanded back to family court. After a six week trial, objection hearing, court of appeals, it was sent back for another trial and then another trial, an objection hearing, and later another court of appeals. I guess the denied immunizations, lack of teeth care, lack of vision care, and fabrication of Epilepsy wasn't enough proof. This was just one case of custody.

The more you go to court, the more you learn about what has been hidden from you. I learned in October of 2011, that my ex-wife changed my son's name in another county (where he was born) back in August 2007 without my knowledge.. She did this so she could alter his birth certificate. This has since been corrected after over a year in probate court with a hearing followed by an objection hearing. Eight months later in May of 2008, my ex-wife changed my stepdaughter's (I adopted) name without my knowledge. That went to court in December 2012, and the name that was changed has now been corrected. It took more than a year and 47 entries for the case. I won the case, she objected, and it was overruled. His last name is corrected.

When you win a case, do you really win? I have won both trials, both objections, won one probate and objection case, another pending, gone through one court of appeals, and now another court of appeals, yet there is no end in sight and my ex-wife has never been held accountable. She has been through approximately seven attorneys with no job. I have had to pay two attorneys on two different cases with no end in sight at $200.00 an hour (plus GAL fees at about $100.00 an hour). I make too much for government help, yet don't make enough to pay attorneys. I just took a 25% pay cut this year. I have paid nearly $30,000 in court and attorney fees in the years I have been in court. I have borrowed from friends, but that has imposed too much burden on them now. I must come up with $2000.00 to defend the latest court of appeals.

People have pushed me into writing about my experience to help others. I finally broke down in January 2011, and started writing a book but had to take a break because of the other case that bloomed. I have helped a few Fathers and want to help more so my son's nightmare scenario is not in vain. After winning both cases, it seems one can keep dragging it out in court. The financial burden has become too much. I need help pay attorneys and pay back what I borrowed. I can't afford two attorneys, but can't afford to let my son down. He is my heartbeat. I would like to finish the book, but can't afford to have it polished for publication.

I want to help others so they have the inspiration to keep moving forward. The children are worth it. I need help, help me to help others. It is the right thing to do. Others give up everyday, the children wait for their Dad, it hurts, I know, I feel their pain everyday.

As my son would say "You can't beat Love."

Steve's Story...